"Their bagel sandwiches transported me to a separate plane of existence. I saw God. She was also eating one of their bagel sandwiches. She winked at me, took a bite, and showed me the secrets of the universe. I cried. Through my tears, I managed another bite of my sandwich. Cried even harder. Buddha showed up, tussled my hair, and sipped the hot house blend in his hand. Gave me a sip. I teleported to Valhalla. Odin high fives me. We embrace. He says “it's time to go home” and sends me back to my … – show"
