"Having grown up in both southern and northern New Mexico, working on my grandfather's chile farm, and being a graduate of New Mexico State University, I feel well-versed in the local culture and cuisine. This restaurant is the ultimate example of someone profiting from local culture without any real understanding, and I felt compelled to write this review as a warning for others about this soulless establishment.
My main complaint was the dish I chose: Chiles en Nogada, which the Paisano Café touted as famous. However, I had never heard of it—its origins were accompanied by dubious claims. Heavily advertised and notably the most expensive item on the menu, I fell victim to what P.T. Barnum famously said: “a sucker is born every minute,” and that day, I was the sucker.
When the Chiles en Nogada arrived at my table, I thought it should have been named 'Chiles en Nalgas,' as it looked unappealing and uninspired, tasting just as bad. The dish featured a thin, poorly flavored cream carelessly sprinkled with bits of pomegranate, the taste of which was as nauseating as it sounds. Raised not to waste food, I forced myself to continue eating, but each gut-wrenching bite revealed undercooked poblano peppers and beans mixed with stringy, low-quality cuts of meat and various unidentifiable, disgusting ingredients. My taste buds and stomach were in revolt, urging me to stop. After three bites, I could not continue and left the remaining poblano pepper untouched.
When I requested a half order of something else, the owner informed the waitress that he wouldn’t allow it, which was hardly surprising given what I later learned about his dreadful treatment of staff. Shortly after, I rushed to the bathroom to throw up the awful meal, feeling relieved to rid myself of both the terrible food and the overall experience. I swear I could hear the anguished cries of past patrons echoing from the walls as I made my hasty exit.
In the end, I left $50 poorer, including the tip, for a meal I neither enjoyed nor finished. Still hungry, I found a real eatery, Dick’s, where I enjoyed a burger and fries that cost a fraction of what I paid at Paisano and, for once, was edible.
So please, take heed of the negative reviews for the dreadful Paisano Café and its disgusting food, as well as its owner, who clearly knows nothing about good customer service or treating his staff with respect. Stay away from the Paisano Café in Las Cruces, NM—don’t be a sucker like I was when I got taken for a ride by this place."
